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It’s easy to imagine her carrying on a conversation with you whilst you have a mouth full of steel tools and drool all over your chin.“I’ve been fantasizing about dogs for about as long as I can remember. Having sex with them, illicit sessions in backlanes, sucking them off, all that. It’s a very private, very dirty thought that I didn’t think I’d ever even talk about with anyone else. I thought it was just me...” She smiles, a smile of relief that she’s finally been able to share this.“I’ve just come out of a marriage that wasn’t really working for either of us. Almost twenty years, and I think maybe 15 of them were just the pair of us going through the motions. He’s an okay guy, I have no negative feelings toward him ... We just didn’t work together. We never really did if I’m honest. So I think I owe myself some fun ... And that’s why I’ve got you here today.”Is this a one-off, or the gateway to a new life?She smiles again. She smiles a lot. Great teeth – she obviously takes all. The next time I see you, you will have lost at least 5 pounds.”When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”The blonde nodded.“I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”“From hunger, you mean?”“No, from skipping.”A cosmetic surgeon was sitting in his consulting room chatting to a friend when a beautiful woman walked in, kissed the surgeon and said: “Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I felt ugly before, but now you have turned me into a princess.”When the gorgeous lady left the room, the friend asked: “Wow, who was that? You’ve certainly done a good job on her.”The surgeon replied: “Oh, that was my mother.” And they continued their conversation.A few minutes later, another beautiful lady walked into the room. Even more stunning than the first, she, too, kissed the surgeon and said: “Thank you so much. You have made me look twenty.
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